If you have been reading this blog, you know that the flour sifter, the cake platter, and the candles are ready. Unfortunately, the “two” candle broke and I’m going to have to superglue it back together before the big day gets here. Although life is still “panning” out like it always is, my 30’s have been a decade that I’m proud of. I’m so glad that I spent my 30th birthday with my mother. We took a day trip to Boone and had a ball. We stomped on childlike grounds when we went to the Daniel Boone Inn and we did new things like brunch and shopping at the Mast General Store. She got me my first Eno chair that is so, so….comfortable. We had so much fun walking up and down King Street and going into every store including her favorite antique place. We had a blast riding in the car and singing along to music and just being together. I held her hand because I knew before she had even told me the news. I just knew she had cancer before she even told me. Yet she waited until after my birthday to tell me. I’ll never forget driving home from school that night and pulling over at the gas station to really, really take in the news. A year went by of me acting out in anger and confusion. By the grace of God, I made it through. By the time 31 came around, I was in a much more stable place and began to focus on spending as much quality time with her as I could and caring for her the best way I knew how.
Alex and I went to The Palm for my 31st and I wore my favorite dress. I spent my 25th birthday there too so it was nostalgic yet forward-looking. The forward-looking is still to be determined only because I am still figuring out what I want 32 to look like. As a 31-year-old woman, I spent my last year with my mother. As a 32-year-old woman, I will be venturing into a life without her. Someone once told me that for women, the entire month is their birthday and for men, the entire week is for their birthday. I’m embracing this thought and liking it a lot. I’ve already been lavished with a delectable birthday dinner, a card I can’t open until the 20th, and a fun birthday lunch with colleagues. Mind you it’s only the 7th so this truth is finding me. I’m excited about the simple stuff this year. I’m excited to go to the grocery store and to Michael’s or Hobby Lobby to get the perfect cake ingredients and decorating tools for a 32nd birthday cake. I’m excited to go and have a couple’s massage with my boyfriend whose birthday is the 16th. I’m thrilled about the simple things and simplicity is what I want for my birthday. Simplicity in everything- my relationships, my career, my routine, my life. 32 is a growing experience as I will be making some big decisions this year about what my next moves will be. I have to keep reminding myself that there are only two semesters away from me and my ASU diploma. At work today, I realized how many years I have put into my insurance career and what exactly I have to show for it. I wish I were farther along in my expertise but I’m trying not to be too hard on myself since I do have my insurance license and 13 years of experience. The goal for me is to find my niche in this industry and really, really focus and commit to that niche. I’ve worked in so many different segments of the industry so my career in some ways is just beginning and that’s OK. The important thing is that I name that career, that relationship, that life and go for it. I think 32 is going to bring all that and more. I’ll be using superglue in more places than a candle and I will, without a doubt, glue it all together. Instead of focusing on what is not there *yet*, I must focus on what I have always been working toward and still am. My work means a lot to me as well as a comfortable work-life balance so this is what I’m putting out to the universe, giving it to God and asking for it for my 32nd birthday. It’s that simple!
The mission of this blog is to write it all out and hope that there will be others who will write out their goals, their dreams, their visions, and their day. They will share with me and the community of Words On Sleeves.
What is on your “sleeves” that you’ve been too afraid to share with the world? Share it here! I am!