Last week I met up with my brothers, sister in law, and niece. We went to my Nana’s favorite pizza spot- Sir Pizza. We had to discuss my grandparents’ will and we were all on the same page and ready and willing to help in any way we could. We brought ideas, concerns, and love to the table. It was so good to be with them on that Sunday and share that time together. Now I am working with my attorney to finalize some things and have their wills complete soon. It’s been overwhelming and really hard at times. Sometimes I wonder why it is us who are doing this but I believe God has given us this job to do. We are all extremely close to our nana and poppy and want to make sure their affairs are handled accordingly. It has brought us really close- dealing with the end of the lives of my mother and eventually my grandparents all at the same time. I don’t know what I would do without my family.
This weekend I spent the day with one of my mother’s former friends, Yolanda (Yo). We found a small bookshelf while cleaning out my mother’s apartment and decided to refurbish it for my niece’s second birthday. Her birthday party theme is llamas so we had a ball in Dollar Tree and Hobby Lobby finding and picking out things for her party. After the errands were run and lunch was had, we went back to Alex’s house and started sanding and painting the shelf. Now it just needs one more coat and we will be ready to add all of the sentimental and personal decals to it. It was the first refurbish project I’ve ever done so I had a ball with Yo doing this with her. It meant so much to her and me because we knew how much we were honoring my mother through this project.
Later that night, Alex and I took my mother’s former fiance out to dinner for his 55th birthday. We went back to my mother’s favorite stomping grounds, Friendly Center, and dined at one of her favorite restaurants, Bravo. Dinner was delicious, our waiter was fabulous and the conversations were so bittersweet. I was so tired on the drive back home but we made it back to Charlotte at approximately 11PM.
Today I went to church and listened to a guest speaker. The message was spot on as he talked about how we don’t know all the details but we know that God’s got this. The music and the message were so moving and they stirred my soul. It makes a big difference in going to church. My soul needs this fuel just like a car needs gas. I also got to see a lot of the kids I used to teach in preschool. One of my dear friends gave a presentation to the now second graders about the time she spent in Jordan. I was there right in the middle of all the second graders, listening to her “children’s” presentation yet my heart was still so extremely moved about her delivery about her time there and about the gospel. It was so beautiful.
When I got home, Alex and I spent an hour at the pool which was very relaxing. Later in the week we went to the grocery store, watched Netflix, had a grilled cheese and tomato soup (with a pickle on the side) picnic on a pallet in the living room. The simple things really are the best things and they are all I’ve ever wanted. It’s what I’ve always wanted to share with someone.
I feel very blessed yet still a little anxious (trying so hard not to be) about what is to come. When I think of writing my five-year plan out (a near-future blog), it does bring on some anxiety because I have no earthly clue what I, exactly, vision for that dream. I have a few ideas but the uncertainty of it pains me. All I know is that God does have this and I have to trust Him. I have to trust the painstaking feelings, being right in the middle of His will, but still not knowing what that will is…. yet. I do feel like I’m slowly but surely getting there, it is just going to take some time and a lot of reflection. I got my planner out about an hour ago to do my Sunday weekly planning. Work is on the left side and school and my personal life are on the right side. There are so many blanks to fill and so many routine tasks that make the work week’s side every. single. week. I’ll have to admit that my job is getting harder and I appreciate the challenge. I just hope for the support I need to carry out that challenge and I do believe that I have that support (thank you, Jesus). Our theme at work last week ended up being “we are all OK”. Yes, it’s OK but I have a deep desire for it to be extraordinary and I’m praying through it and striving for it.
In all things….
5 year plan to come.